I recall soul-searching moments of discontentment as I strove to “figure things out.” I had everything that seemed to please others, but I yearned for something more in my own life. I suffered with unfulfilled ambition.
And at these times, I gained a clear understanding of the words of Sterling W. Sill when he wrote, “I am sure in my own mind that the one business of life is to succeed, that God did not give us these magnificent brains, these miraculous personalities, and these wonderful physical qualities and then expect us to waste our lives in failure.”
What price would be required of my life to avoid failure?
I wanted physical fitness. And to gain fitness, I’d need to exert the body. I wanted to grow in wisdom. And to gain wisdom, I’d need to spend time reading, listening, and studying. I wanted wealth and power over life. And to gain wealth, I’d have to use my gifts and my time profitably. I wanted close relationships. And to form intimate bonds, I would be obliged to engage in authentic communication and mutual enjoyments with others.
In the end, it all required nothing more than turning wasted hours into useful hours. And what’s so hard about that? It is mindfulness and intention. There is a flow to the river of life that feels useful. And conversely, there is a flow of life that feels meaningless.
The yearn for something more is a call to reevaluate our activities and time. We are what we do. And we are all doing something, mindfully or not, as time passes.
I realize I must I pay the price of time to get the things I want in life. Conversely, I also pay the price of time to get the things I don’t want in life. The difference is in the activity I engage in. The price of time is constant, but what I get from my time varies.
A Sanskrit verse hangs on my wall to focus me on the value of a day: “This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good, but what I do today is important because I am ex-changing a day of my life for it! When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place something that I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, and not loss; good, and not evil; success, and not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price I have paid for it.”
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